50 drafts and i delete one why don’t i just save things to a word document
My favorite ice cream was vanilla, and I used to refuse to eat it if it had the black bean specs in it because I thought they dropped it in the dirt. Now my favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip, but vanilla is a close second.
moltres: overhearing a conversation between strangers in which they’re saying something completely wrong and you really feel like correcting them
this is no ordinary vegetable steamer karen my computer wife.
I have a headache and a while ago i wrote a thing about a headache and this headache feels a lot like that headache but i can’t find the thing i wrote and i want to be able to talk about why this headache is here but i literally cannot find the words i wrote and i can’t rewrite them because they won’t make sense.
You’re not our waitress, but I just want to let you know that we’re...– quoth the dakota
in my many oreo binges i have found that the perfect ratio of cream to cookie is 2 double stuffed creams to 3 cookies.
world’s worst tattoos. this girl got a chastity belt tattooed on her and then fucked the tattoo artist afterwards.
I am frustrated.
I had the tv on Big Time Rush and my mom started watching and she’s laughing her ass off
graceebooks: men at large feel like they are being robbed of something when an attractive woman with a 90% chance of developing breast cancer gets a double mastectomy what better illustration of the male sense of sexual entitlement do you need
a little white cat came to visit me this morning is that good luck?
i miss my dog
yayo-delreyxx: Carmen (Acapella Demo) the...
partybarackisinthehousetonight: pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
one of the reasons i’m glad to not be a teenager anymore is if i die or crash my car or get pregnant i won’t be like a “teen statistic” ….unless they still include 20 in teen data collection
[[MORE]] like how much cookies and cake can one person eat? it’s a lot and it makes me feel bad afterwards because i feel super full of bad things and just gross and then i eat more because i’m like ‘well i guess you’re a piggy now so why don’t you stuff your lil pig face some more, piggy.” and then i get to the point where i feel sick (now) and i’m like...